Conversation 01
Identity Before Intimacy
Identity in Christ, purpose, loneliness, readiness, rejection and family influences.
Marriage should complement identity, not create it.
Key principle
The Choose Well curriculum
Twelve conversations before a lifelong commitment.
A thoughtful, faith-informed curriculum for becoming ready, recognising clearly and making wise relationship decisions.
Why these conversations matter
The goal is not simply to arrive at marriage.
It is to grow in the wisdom, character and clarity required to choose responsibly and love faithfully.
CHOOSE WELL does not promise to reveal “the one” or guarantee a romantic outcome. It creates space for honest reflection, observable character, wise counsel, safety and time.
The learning progression
One journey. Three movements.
- 0101–04
Become Ready
- 0205–08
Choose Wisely
- 0309–12
Build Well
The twelve-conversation journey
A syllabus for wise decisions.
Each conversation brings a different part of relationship wisdom into the light—before commitment makes the questions harder to ask.
Become Ready
01 02 Conversation 02
Christian Marriage in Reality
Covenant, companionship, service, faithfulness, expectations and partnership rather than ownership.
Marriage is sacred and practical, not a romantic escape.
Key principle03 Conversation 03
Becoming Marriage-Ready
Spiritual maturity, discipline, emotional regulation, communication, responsibility and accountability.
Wanting marriage and being ready for marriage are different.
Key principle04 Conversation 04
Character Over Charisma
Integrity, humility, consistency, kindness, self-control, response to correction and private conduct.
Church activity and biblical vocabulary do not prove character.
Key principle
Choose Wisely
05 Conversation 05
Discernment and Compatibility
Doctrine, children, vocation, money, location, family, roles, sex and lifestyle.
Shared faith does not automatically mean practical compatibility.
Key principle06 Conversation 06
Dating and Courtship
Clarity, intention, freedom, accountability, boundaries and avoiding undefined or premature entanglement.
Courtship discovers truth; it must not force a wedding.
Key principle07 Conversation 07
Red Flags and Manipulation
Control, jealousy, isolation, violence, sexual pressure, lying, addiction and prophecy used as pressure.
‘God told me’ never cancels another person’s freedom to say no.
Key principle08 Conversation 08
Communication and Conflict
Listening, disagreement, anger, apology, repentance, repair and abuse versus normal conflict.
A genuine apology is followed by changed behaviour.
Key principle
Build Well
09 Conversation 09
Money, Work and Family
Debt, budgeting, giving, employment, extended family, in-laws, household labour and financial abuse.
Financial compatibility requires disclosure, planning and boundaries.
Key principle10 Conversation 10
Sex, Purity and Intimacy
Christian ethics, consent, pornography, health, shame, grace, intimacy and infertility expectations.
Past sin or victimisation never removes a person’s God-given worth.
Key principle11 Conversation 11
Preparing for Engagement
Theology, health, finances, children, family, location, past, addiction and counselling.
Engagement should follow honest conversations, not replace them.
Key principle12 Conversation 12
Proceed, Pause or Walk Away
Decision-making, counsel, evidence, safety, family pressure and ending relationships well.
Walking away from an unsuitable relationship can be an act of wisdom.
Key principle
Continue with Choose Well
Wise choices begin before the choice.
Share your perspective through the CHOOSE WELL audience research questionnaire, or return to the first conversation.